the main first lead sounds really good, but I don't think the other synths you use quite compare in intensity
at 1:09, idk how much you changed it, but it sounds a bit empty
Yea, I removed alot of the other stuff that was in your original.
Besides the actual synths, I made some just a bit louder then others in your original.
The bass kicks, hat, etc etc were all deleted and I put my own in,
I added some extra notes to the melody at the end.
Like I said, only worked on it for around a hour. There will be more versions.