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Greed's Deadliest Catch

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Just a little experiment with a slight accent and mixing ambient sound with situational sound and a song in the background.

Rushed out in an hour before work and made it up as I recorded and ah crap I'm gonna be late.

Wasn't gonna upload because I didn't "mix", I "slapped together", but whatever.

Thanks for listening!

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Watch the suffixed T's in your cockney. You seem to over-enunciate them a bit. They tend to speak them from the back of the mouth instead of an American tip of the tongue. Other than that... Heterosexual erections and whatnot. Do you have any pictures? Tits or GTFO.

Gianni responds:

I have a really strong cockney (hah, there's a penis joke there somewhere), but I didn't wanna bust that out for this guy. I was trying to do some self-imagined half-cockney something, but listening back on it I really should have gone at least a little stronger.

Or maybe one day I should take a legitimate language lesson and not completely make shit up as I go along, insulting ALL the nationalities.

You're completely right.

Hey, great job with this! You have here a great story that really drew me in.

I have just a couple critiques on this. I realize this was a bit rushed, and I'm sure there are things you would have changed if you had spent more time on this. That being said, I think my main criticism is that the characters don't sound different enough. There were a couple times where it was hard to tell which character was speaking.

If you were going to rework this at all (you may or may not, so take from this what you will), a few things to think about:
- First, where is the merchant discovered? I hear footsteps, but I'd love to see the soundscape taken one step further. Is he in a back booth at a noisy bar? Is he beside a couple crates on a pier by the bay? Is he asleep in a hidden shop? All of those have associated noises (and background noises) that might be fun to add in.
- Second, what are the gagging sounds at 0:18, and why do they come right after Greed (I assume) finishes speaking? If he was just woken up, why was the noise made after Greed spoke, and not during?
- Third, I think the piano does a good job building the mood. However, it's introduction seem a bit abrupt.
- Last, I like Greed's change of voice at the end. However, when I first heard of it, I thought the music player was glitching up.

Overall, for an hour's worth of work, I think what you have is really good. However, I think if you do decide to spend a little time polishing it, you could have an awesome product. Either way, once again, great job!

Gianni responds:

Hm. This was surprisingly honest and effective criticism. The gagging at :18 was supposed to be him being scared immediately when waking up, but I think my greater error there was not transitioning the fear into his words. The rapid breathing works for the point of an awoken fright, as if a nightmare perhaps, but he's too quick to be like "Yeah what's up". In my mind, I was trying to credit that to the character's usually strong and subtly intimidating nature, but clearly you saw through the ruse and it was just laziness.

I was wondering if these two voices could work together. I'm glad you said they don't too well. Differentiation is hard for me, it's difficult for me to sound like two similarly voiced guys. They probably can work together, I just need to try harder. That's the exact reason I paired these two voices. Well that and I liked the two characters I created in my head.

It's supposed to be like on a pier. I wanted to start it with the merchant shouting to passersby to do business with him, with boat noises and shit in the background. But like I said, laziness, it's just the soft sound of waves which I probably made too quiet.

The introduction on the piano is insultingly abrupt, because like I said I just slapped that shit in, barely took any effort to really mix. I kinda liked the abrupt nature of it, but I think it was abrupt for all the wrong reasons.

The vocal glitching I only did because I think that effect is super fun to play with. It really had no place here, but I liked the chaos it added. That scene needed more chaos than I gave it.

This whole thing was lazy rubbish really, but thanks for taking the time to evaluate it on a relatively fair and in-depth level.

I like this a lot. It has a dark and mysterious vibe to it that works really well. I also like all the sounds you added to this to make it feel more real. Awesome stuff !

Gianni responds:

Thanks. Despite having no idea what I'm doing it definitely sounds better with more noises than without noises at all.

Credits & Info

Gianni
Author

Listens
1,735
Faves:
3
Downloads
190
Score
Waiting for 2 more votes

Uploaded
Jan 23, 2013
4:26 PM EST
Genre
Drama
File Info
Voice
1.7 MB
1 min 55 sec
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Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.