Its good to see actual effort in songs
is this a remix? If it is, thats still cool, if it isn't, I like the vocals. A lot. Good work there.
The beginning is pretty much generic trance, and thats a good thing. When you bring in that chopped sounding roll, its a bit loud. It makes me think that your going to break RIGHT into the first verse of the melody. You are building up drama that, well, doesn't happen. Think of it like a hill, when you build it up, it has to keep going until the hill goes down. If you have the hill going up, and then theres a big cliff instead of the hill continuing, the ride is going to be very bumpy, and unpleasent. Keep that illustration in mind =)
Good work, I can see the obvious effort put inot this. Keep it up! =D Check out my music sometime?