I noticed you said you tried to make it sound 'violent and mean'... but you almost completely lack a delivery of the sorts, it just seems quite boring and monotonous with not much punch to it. The lyrics and the flow were pretty basic and sometimes messy. Probably should've spent more time on it.
Fair enough. I agree. This one has the adlib about how I beat him in the last cypher. And the six dicks line goes hardest in this version than the one he tried to pass off on his version. I liked the lyrics personally I mean, thats my sense of humor and I like the type of aggression I put in, its sort of comedic I feel. I guess I meant punchy but in more of a comedy sense than like with loud popped out syllables. I also will say this is a preliminary round and I don't want to. I think the flow and lyrics are both super Charles Bukowski cuz to be honest my style is pretty unhoned. I spent little time on it so you are correct. I wish I did but to be honest I fleshed out a lot of good lines to use and this happened to be the best "delivery" of any of the lines I tested. I wanted it to sound messy. So that is good I like that. I checked the results of the preliminary and it looks like I took it. =]
ok so far u need to get ur volume leveled in the begining way too loud and peaks gotta keep an eye on that and as im listening seems the whole thing is waaay too loud peaking waay too much for the lyrics it needs some work it needs to match the beat ur not doin a capella your rhymes just has a lot of rough edges if you do what i say man i think this will go hard the beat is hot but ur words and the beat is speaking different languages if you catch my drift but all in all good try ima give an A for effort check out my new mix i made Dj Hyperion ft. Tech N9ne it just got posted so give it a listen see what you think. peace man yall take it easy
The microphone for verse 1 is a 5 dollar microphone. The verse in verse 3 I use an iphone. Due to time restrictions of online battling I couldn't exactly pick a beat I wanted it was a pre-set list of beats and I had to hand it in within x amount of time. Given unlimited time to create a beat and craft lyrics for a real song I would make a cleaner product for sure. But this is what came out of the time restrictions of a battle. I still haven't heard a verse 4 out of Mickey so thats saying that. Yeah I like it when my words cut like that but its also an internet battle so the opponent has the option to go louder than you so I just rather be loudest than unheard. Peaking sucks but I lost the master so I wasn't able to fix it under the time contraints. I tried re-recording but the cheesestake ryhme + the 6 dicks adlib never sounded as good as the first time I said it. So I went with the sketched out original. I guess I watch a lot of acapella rap battles but as for it sounding like the lyrics need work can you point out what you mean in particular, I actually liked some of my lines in this even though its rough as fuck.
ie I like the dirt/earth ryhme, the leaving you gurgling //tyler durden line, and my words are like a hyperdermic needle leaving you bleeding fetal but what you spit is all fecal, I thought for a battle line it was good I don't know I wasn't really going for some super flowly intellectual shit I just wanted it to sound mean and violent. I wasn't really going to make music I wanted it to sound ignorant, and violent. If that makes any sense. Cheers. I like the mix mate I didn't give it all a chance but I disagree with the criticisms its unique I like abstract hiphop projects like that. Take care.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.