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The Hotel of Days

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Author Comments

tbf and apilot

poem i wrote while walking 5 miles to unlock my car

to all of you hip hop scholars, this is experimental. this is not meant to be in any way shape or form traditional hiphop it is not my goal. it is poetry on a rhythm

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So I can tell that I would like your lyrics if I read them... But while listening to them it's really hard to enjoy them because of the way you deliver them. Your voice sounds nasally and lacks power, and your delivery is way too monotone. You also sound like you're having a lot of trouble staying on beat. Practice rapping wordlessly. Rap sixteenth notes to a metronome, just like, "dadadadada..." etc. Sticking to the beat must become second nature for you. Pull your voice from your diaphragm. Since you're a rapper, I assume you want to rock shows. People say Melle Mel used to take command of shows just off of the power of his voice. Now I don't mean yell. Just pull it from your gut and put every ounce of passion in your being into it. Your lyrics are unique and interesting, but nobody's going to give half a f* if your voice can't keep their attention.

This beat is cool. Where are the drums though? All I hear is high hats. Gimme some of that boom bap man. I wanna feel the kick. I want the snare to SNAP. That's just my taste though, if it was your intent to never have the drums drop then I guess you're fine. Also edit your vocal recording at the end of the song, there's a few seconds of breathing/white noise/booth sounds at the end there. No one needs to hear that.

All in all, I would say you just need to study the genre more. Really critically listen to the rappers you like, take what you learn, and apply it to your own music. It's a long, ongoing process.

Apilot responds:

i am not trying to be in your genre

Credits & Info


Waiting for 3 more votes

Oct 19, 2012
1:41 AM EDT
File Info
2.2 MB
2 min 23 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.