Not sure what's up with THAT doucher down yonder though!
I think this has a heck of a lot of potential. It is already very solid as is, I simply take issue wit ha small number of minor things. I feel the singing vox could have been mastered a bit differently, to provide the track with a more full sound... tickling the edges of the L/R channels with delay, for example. Keep in mind, this could simply be a preference thing, as The Chemical Brothers do a great deal and tremendous work with a minimally mastered sound, quite often.
Other than that, I feel that the beat was a little staccato, and did not quite match up with the "busy" feel that the track took on. Again, it could be just taste, but I feel that a number of other subtle percussion elements would do a great to making the track feel more "wholesome" and professionally done. As someone else mentioned, the percussion you are using sounded a bit dry, but going back to my Chemical Bro's example, it doesn't sound bad necessarily! The vox are the main thing that could use some moisture, in my opinion :)
Now that I'm finishing being an ass, I commend the great melodic and harmonic work, and I liked the underlying string "bed," if you will, very good. I thought the use of basses and kicks were very balanced and well done; orchestral stuff isn't meant to shake walls. I didn't mind the instrument quality at all.
My biggest thing are those vocals... they would sound strong if you just opened them up!! You know, some gentle reverb and stereo-seperated decay... I'll be looking out for the second edition! Based on the feel and sound you were going for, I think this track is very strong! Very Age of Empires - background-music-esque... or title menu theme... or credit roll music. Along those lines. Really liked it!
Let this all be taken with a grain of salt, as I do consider your melodic and composition skills much superior to mine own. That being said, perhaps you'd take the time to similarly critique my track "Core Collapse?" :)
Thanks mate, and great work!