Your Level are way fucked up you need to do something about those. They are allmost as bad as mine LOL. Let me give u a tip I got from Fadeliss set a compressor to -6 and a 3:1 Ratio worked miracles for me.
Other than that the acutual song was kinda repitive and lacked drive. Try adjusting your drums and expanding on the ideas you have goin with your melody and Bass. The song seems Weak in almost all Traits. Good try with practice you can Progress so So don't trip.
Check out My Dre remix While your here