Very melodic with a nice emotional tone!
I see where you're coming from on unfinished/neglected project files. (I have a lot of Flash stuff that hasn't been completed.) Plus, it's interesting to see versions of this in different genres, which is nice. Enough with this, on with the review...
Instruments: You did a great job on programming the synths and the drums. They were neither abrasive or weak and got the point across. It really shows that you have the ears for pleasing sound. In other words, it had a bittersweet mood that I liked.
Composition: This is how melodic house got its name, especially considering that house was the first genre of electronic music to come about. I enjoyed the melodies that you had going on in this, which combined with the sounds, made that aforementioned tone that you were aiming for. Did I mention that you had a nice rhythm to boot?
Other: As for suggestions for how to improve, I suggest studying the right material. Namely, the following:
-The music to R-Type Delta and Final
-Cab Calloway (and the Blues Brothers soundtrack)
There's plenty of stuff from them and it helps to have multiple influences.
-The fact that it's technically a work-in-progress, but what you have is still great.
Overall: Here's another ten from me, and have you considered making the following after you're done with the variations of this? (Psytrance, Darkcore, Jungle, Tech DnB, Hard Trance, Gabber, Drumstep, Darkstep, and Hard House)