I'm by no means any sort of expert but if you just want something to think about then I'm your guy.
I think that a big problem with this song is the overall sound level variation. Generally the song is consistently loud the whole way through. Because of that the song feels very repetitive even when it's not (though it kind of is).
You need to build up tension and release but if you don't vary the overall loudness of the song throughout it's VERY hard to do that.
Thanks for making music! Good luck and do your best!
Also if you're active on the forum and stuff more people will find you (probably).
Thanks for the review. I'll go back and edit some build-ups and variations in!