Ring Around The Sun

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Author Comments

Okay, so the WIP was put up only yesterday night. I figured I fixed what needed to be fixed and made it a good enough tune, so here's the complete version of Ring Around the Sun.

I'll be entering it into NAC '12, so wish me luck on that. The theme was "summer cheer". Supposed to be happy and cheerful, which I hope I accomplished. I'd love some feedback, so please supply it if you have it.


The part that comes in at :16 doesn't fit in too well because of whatever scale it's on.
I love the part that comes in at :47. Awesome, sounds great.
The part at 1:30 is REALLY out of place. It could fit in if you built up to it, by some tense percussion (and maybe a minor key), and a sudden pause, beforehand, but otherwise, it seems awkward. Even with the aforementioned changes, it might still end up sounding like a complete change of genre, so it may be better if you were to cut that part out. It's nothing against the instrumentation- just the dissonance doesn't fit well with the melody.
I'd vamp up the percussion in a few parts as well. It's kinda repetitive, rather boring. You can keep it the way it is for the most part, but add in some brief variation, for example, at places like 2:10 or 0:50 (you did this technique really well at 1:34).
What I like most about this song, perhaps, is the rhythm. The part that comes in at :35, for example, provides a good layer to fit in with the melody.
However, you could work on dynamics quite a bit. Subtle, slow, periodic changes back and forth between loud and soft could work well for the background rhythms. Additionally, the percussion section could use a nice accent/louder sections now and then (perhaps at like 1:36) to catch the listener off guard.
Anyways, nice job on this piece. Like theMacATTack5 said, this could easily be a great song; it just could use some minor changes here and there.

The title sparks interest, and that is about it for me. The music just feels like it needs to be fleshed out a bit more. For whatever melody there was, it just kept on constantly clashing up to the only highpoint of the entire song, which happened to be the middle of it.

The two different sounds that kept on going and going throughout the songs (both of which, I assume, are performed on a synth) were just too different to keep things steady and smooth. I do realize that there were more, but the contrast between the high and low notes was just too much and one overwhelmed each other most of the time. The real annoyance is when you decided it was a good idea to go to the highest end of the scale without anything to help drown it out just a bit so it doesn't make my ears hurt.

The good points? I suppose that I DID like the beat of it. It gave it a good vibe and if I didn't have the godawful melody or selection of notes, then perhaps it could've done better. My suggestion would be to go back to the drawing board on this one. Try making it more soothing rather than trying to make an "interesting noise" by clashing notes and sounds that shouldn't go together.

~Review Request Club~

In all honesty,I don't see the kind of development a song should have. The beginning melody was clashing with the rest of the notes and rhythms,and there really wasnt much variation to go by. You sure did accomplish a minimalistic feel,which is the whole point of having summer cheer;not caring about much of anything,just being happy because you're free for once,devoid of all responsibility-BUT you did not accomplish the development of this cheer,to give it more excitement and more of a voice. These are things you can work on for your next song/track whathaveyou. Also,(although your music is your music and you think it's good enough more power to you) I would consider more time than Two days work with this kind of music specifically,because there is a lot more technical behind the scenes work with this that I didn't quite hear(Mastering and such). In all,I would consider you review this song over and see if you can change anything about it before the deadline for NAC'12 so that you might stand a better chance against the rest of the crowd.

Review Request Club

It was nice! But it was kind of repetitive... Make more parts to the song, i mean, chorus, verses or something like that, You can use more sounds or effects in the song, it helps the environment! Drums can be improved too, try adding more dynamics to them. But i liked it, its enjoyable, im gettin down to this :D

It's very homogeneous.
If the purpose of the piece is some pleasant background music than you've achieved your goal. The melody is simple, catchy, and light. But, a background needs to have something else going on in order to not become boring.
By being so light, it feels generic and unoriginal. It's not my place to write your piece for you, but I'd do much more with the melody. Honestly, as I was listening, I kept waiting for a new melody, or perhaps a change in the one you already have. I'm not recommending you layer anything, since that's very difficult to do while still keeping the piece light and airy.
But if you could pull off a few subtle changes, like the instrumentation of the second melody layer around 1:53 it would help fit with the shifts in tone you made at 1:37. I feel that I should comment on the rhythm of the piece too, but honestly everything I just said about the melody applies to the rhythm also.

A lot of why the piece is so homogeneous and generic is the fact that you don't change really change anything throughout the entire piece, you only change the instrumentation, which makes it sound like a cop-out. It's almost too easy to write a music like this, which is why everyone does it. And why they all sound alike.
I don't mean to be cruel, it's just that it feel like you put more effort into creating a particular type of sound, rather than writing a more effective melody or rhythm. There's no real variation in this piece and as happy as the melody is, it's nothing more than a light filler.

I'm sorry if I sound too critical and I hope you don't think I'm trying to be insulting. It's just that I could see a lot more being done, but that's only my opinion.

Chongo responds:

Well you know what? I'd rather hear a review such as this one than just "Nice job lol 5/5"

As for your comments, I can unfortunately agree. The recycling of melodies or letting one linger too long is a bad habit of mine. I definitely did it wrong here, to a dangerously high degree.

Overall, you review was not too critical. It's yours to judge, and when flaws are pointed out, I fix them in future songs, and that makes me better. So thank you, and have a nice day

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Credits & Info


4.13 / 5.00

Jun 10, 2012
2:09 PM EDT
File Info
3.4 MB
2 min 59 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.