Ain't bad, I do find the rythm here even though the lyrics seem a little compromized to fit inside it. It's raw, and seems to have meaning. Instrumentally great with quite a pompous synth in the chorus bringing a very fateful feeling into it. This combines well with the industrial scale slaughter of the lyrics, which could be analyzed to mean something else but eventually all come down to an establishment in cruelty. This time around the vocals themselves, though good, seem to stray somewhat out of their limits in technique.
Okai I think I want you as a Critic on Redscientist Media.
Pick and listen.
You were doing well until you started singing. The lyrics have no sense of rhythm or syllable balance and are trying too hard to fit inside the measures of the music, and ultimately the entire song suffered as a result. The music was done right, but the singing killed it.
Lol I'm pretty sure everyone will agree with you.
OMG THIS IS EPIC!
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.