It carries a very soothing feel to it, nice flow. Feels like it would fit well into an rpg.
Hmm. Not sure what to make of it. It's nice - it sounds pleasantly calm, and I like that. Yet.. I feel like the music could be phrased a little differently. I love what you wrote in the description - I can hear how you've tried to express that image musically - yet I think the music could be better if it were phrased differently.
So what do I mean? Okay well for instance, at the start.. I think it could sound a lot more thought-provoking if you subtly varied the length of the notes. For instance, the intro - the first 3 notes form an initial phrase.. if you held the 3rd note for a bit longer before moving to the note below it, it would give us time to think about what you've told us, musically.. it wouldn't need to be much of a change, just enough to make it so that the first 3 notes are distinctly separate from what comes next, to highlight it, as such. The sort of changes I have in mind, would be very minute, but just enough to make it all a bit more crisp.
Right now this is like a drawing which has faint lines - it's got all the right colours and shapes, but it could be outlined stronger so as to make it really stand out. To be honest this would probably be quite hard to do in sibelius, due to how you have to work with notation and so on. The changes I have in mind would be microscopic, i.e hemidemisemiquaver differences, lol.
Yeah. Well anyways good job, I like it but I think it could be more thought provoking. You have all the right stuff but more distinct phrasing would be nice.
For completeness.. I listened to the original. To be honest, I like it more but only because of the instrument choices. It's more 'full', so I have more to focus on. But I do agree, this is better in terms of structure/theory. This piece evokes a stronger feeling of solitude, that's for sure ^_^
Good stuff :)
Ha wow, I see exactly what you mean with slight differences happening throughout the piece. I suppose the 3rd note could become a bit longer, but in Sibelius it might look a bit like a mess, haha (adding a tie with a 16th note would be a trainwreck).
I think more dynamics would also help, as that's the only other way to artificially create a "feel" with robot sounding MIDIs.
Anyhow, thank you =D You've given me a lot to think about! Critiques like these are always helpful.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.