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Peace of an Ivory Tower

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You sit in the halls of an empty tower, taking refuge from the uncertain dusk outside. Unsure of where you are, you look at the white trees and carved marble petals that stretch out endlessly in front of you. Expertly crafted blades of granite grass decorate the side of the path you walk along; you are careful to not tarnish any one of the billions of sculptures that make up this vast, priceless, and false greenhouse.

Author's Notes:
This is simply a redux of one of my older songs, Peace of a Foreign Oasis. Obviously, I couldn't name it the same thing, but I find the title still fitting.

However, despite it being a redo of an older song, I find the actual structure/theory behind it MUCH improved, and it has much more depth to it. Hope you enjoy :D

Made in Sibelius 6.

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Hmm. Not sure what to make of it. It's nice - it sounds pleasantly calm, and I like that. Yet.. I feel like the music could be phrased a little differently. I love what you wrote in the description - I can hear how you've tried to express that image musically - yet I think the music could be better if it were phrased differently.

So what do I mean? Okay well for instance, at the start.. I think it could sound a lot more thought-provoking if you subtly varied the length of the notes. For instance, the intro - the first 3 notes form an initial phrase.. if you held the 3rd note for a bit longer before moving to the note below it, it would give us time to think about what you've told us, musically.. it wouldn't need to be much of a change, just enough to make it so that the first 3 notes are distinctly separate from what comes next, to highlight it, as such. The sort of changes I have in mind, would be very minute, but just enough to make it all a bit more crisp.

Right now this is like a drawing which has faint lines - it's got all the right colours and shapes, but it could be outlined stronger so as to make it really stand out. To be honest this would probably be quite hard to do in sibelius, due to how you have to work with notation and so on. The changes I have in mind would be microscopic, i.e hemidemisemiquaver differences, lol.

Yeah. Well anyways good job, I like it but I think it could be more thought provoking. You have all the right stuff but more distinct phrasing would be nice.

For completeness.. I listened to the original. To be honest, I like it more but only because of the instrument choices. It's more 'full', so I have more to focus on. But I do agree, this is better in terms of structure/theory. This piece evokes a stronger feeling of solitude, that's for sure ^_^

Good stuff :)

CheckeredZebra responds:

Ha wow, I see exactly what you mean with slight differences happening throughout the piece. I suppose the 3rd note could become a bit longer, but in Sibelius it might look a bit like a mess, haha (adding a tie with a 16th note would be a trainwreck).

I think more dynamics would also help, as that's the only other way to artificially create a "feel" with robot sounding MIDIs.

Anyhow, thank you =D You've given me a lot to think about! Critiques like these are always helpful.

Credits & Info

Waiting for 2 more votes

May 12, 2012
7:04 PM EDT
File Info
1.2 MB
1 min 21 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.