I gotta say I've been listening to you're stuff a lot, writing to it as well, and you've got quite a knack for mixing. As for this song itself I gotta say it has too many abrupt notes and dissonance, you need a reverberating instrument in there, maybe just some drawn out symbols? I dunno how it works, i could never get the hang of music programs. @.@
I just open a project and try to have as much fun as I can
As for your advice, I'm trying it out right now
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.