This is like Napoleon Dynamite meets rap poetry. I dig it!
Hey thanks I have had that comparison in real life to and I have avoided watching that movie completly. I'd rather the vague coincidence in my cadence be due to my naivety. =]
I like this beat a lot. I think you have a good voice for spoken word. You should turn the volume up on your vocals here so they will come through more. There were some good rhymes in there, but I would have loved to hear more continuity between the rhymes. I realize it was a freestyle, but the way that I improve when I freestyle is to focus on continuity rather than rhyming the word. Most folks have a misconception about rap and spoken word that it's all about the rhyme. To me it's not. It's about cadence, rhythm, emotion, continuity. The rhyme almost comes automatically if those things are in order.
Oh yeah, "thrice" is so a word!
Zephyr as in the agility hero in Hon, if so pub trash. the track itself is bad and u can't rap for shit.
You gave absolutely no tips too improve. Your exactly the person I am talking too talk mad shit about what is good and bad rap but can't write a single word of poetry - also if you think I can'r rap for shit well I am going too keep making music so your input doesn't change shit. If you don't like don't play it. I couldn't care less if you don't unless you have actual critique. But don't treat people like a cunt. You think I can't rap for shit great I think you can't review, create music or be a good person. Go be a socio-path on someone elses work.
Its a freestyle type spit and its just poetry, don't like it? Don't play it. Go play Heroes of Newearth your not cut out too review work.