I like it over all, but it still has a few issues.
first off, they lyrics are a little cheesy lol. especially the first two measures. i do really like the delivery though.
also, the mix is a little funky, the insturments are really quiet behind the vocals, that might be the way you wanted it though, its hard to tell.
Instrumentally it's fine, but the vocals seriously bother me (it sounds more spoken than sung most of the time, and it's quite loud in comparison to the rest). The chorus is kinda catchy, though. Definitely could be a really cool track with some work on the vocals.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.