just like the button said: 'I hope you'll die in a fire ;D'
there are too many wrong notes in there.
and just like danny said; im saying the same thing,
its too irregular. there is no buildup, no line,
and honestly its really hard to find out what you where going for.
and even more honest; i dont get the high score with just 1 review, 2 reviews including me.
Not 100% sure what you were trying to achieve here... but it's missing some decent bass and it's too irregular. Build it up too. You went straight in there! Give it time to get together. Add some regularity in there and it could sound decent.
Anyway, decent work - keep it up!
i changed a couple things. delete browser cache and refresh page to hear it!