I must say, I LOVE the melody you wrote out. The string addition towards the end was a nice touch. But the piano could've been a little less choppy or at least start out a little softer and crescendo-ing into the main lines. I think a build up of volume around where the melodic line starts to repeat would do your song a little more good. The beginning didn't give me the impressions of a peaceful song as much, but rather a dramatic one. And indeed I did hear a more dramatic song than a peaceful one. A nice alternative nonetheless.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.