Agree that the sounds, if taken kind of seperately, are good. The problem is the chord progression ... well ... is there a progression? In other words, it doesn't sound like one chord/measure sounds like it naturally is headed to the next. It ends up sounding ... disorienting? Does that make sense?
Now on the other hand, I think you're heading in the right direction when it comes to instrumentation and the direction as far as the build not being too fast or too slow or too random, etc etc. Mixing is quite good too.
This was completely done perfect throughout the song, my only wish is that I could see it longer but that's you choice, cause your the master of your song. Other than that I found this song very amusing to listen to. Keep up the good work!