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When the Light Ends

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Your name is Brandon Derosh, you run the bakery in this town.
You wake up and look outside only to find that the same shit is going on. You already know that, like the rest of the town that everything's been destroyed yet again. Stressed, despressed and angry as hell at the same time, you go out and use your best attempts to rebuild then go back to bed at the end of the day.
You wake up the next day only to see that once again your efforts have been thwarted. The only logical thing to do is to figure out who the hell is doing this shit. Looking for clues haven't found anything, so the best thing to do is wait for the night and defend your town against whoever is causing this madness. You're ready to defend at the outskirts of town with others while more citizens are ready to defend the town itself. Just as the sun slivers below the horizon and as the stars start coming out,
you all fall asleep.
Waking up at the same place amongst all the confused townspeople, you realize it was all of you the entire time. Somehow when the light ends and night reigns the sky, all of you go into a hypnotic rage and destroy all in your path. Defeated, you all decide to part ways and start a new life elsewhere hoping it'll end the curse. You arrive late at your new home and start unpacking. The events at the town are in the back of your mind because you feel that the curse stayed with the town. But the sun drops and guess what happens?
You fall asleep, and the curse forever twists your mind.
Note that every time you fall asleep you don't dream, but every time you wake up you feel repressed memories but you can't bring them out, and you're not sure you want to.
After too much chaos you finally decide to see a hypnotherapist to push the memories out... (Continued in part 2)

During my time without internet I managed to get a few songs made, once I got my new computer I made a few other projects, including a third part of the When the Light Ends series called The Curse on this Town (Where's part 2? Haven't made it yet but it'll be good) I'll be throwing all 3 parts into a demo for sale in my town (where there is no curse of this sort) maybe even put it on iTunes if I get good feedback. Until then, here's When the Light Ends part 1

Let me know if you feel that the kick is too quiet. I feel it may be but I can't be sure.

Wake up, and look outside
And live another dreaded day
Destruction befell the town
We only rebuilt yesterday

Went to bed, same time, same place
And woke up there as well
Plummeted back to square one
Rebuild then go back to bed

And fall asleep

Twisting my mind
When the light ends
Destroy the pleas
Of desperate minds
Revert to chaos
Dessimate our work
Our blood, sweat and tears
In the shadows, there's
A curse on this town
Under our noses
When the light ends

Security, our first priority
Looking out for clues to this chaos
Nothing found, so we wait for the night
And go about our everyday plan

Sunset, and we're all spread out
Prepared for impending attack
Night is near, we will face our fear
Then the unexpected

We fall asleep

Twisting my mind
When the light ends
Destroy the pleas
Of desperate minds
Revert to chaos
Dessimate our work
Our blood, sweat and tears
In the shadows, there's
A curse on this town
Entering our nightmares
When the light ends


I could have died
Our nightmares became realized
We can't go on
Knowing it was us all along
Make us destory our hard-earned lives
Moving on
Down this dark road we call

Degraded, debunked, we packed all of our stuff
As we leave this cursed town
Hoping to find out inner peace
We park our seperate ways

Get in late, in a different place
Where the curse is left behind
Start moving in when the sun drops beneath
And the it happens

You fall asleep

Twisting my mind
When the light ends
Destroy the pleas
Of desperate minds
Revert to chaos
Dessimate our work
Our blood, sweat and tears
In the shadows, there's
A curse on this town
Spreading the chaos
When the light ends

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The basic function of Screamo Metal is catharsis through expression of intense emotion by intense lyrics (And Screaming), and heavy, complex instrumentals.
It can pump you up, it can relax you, it can do both at the same time.

This did neither for me. It has potential, but it's not working for me as of yet.

To start, the vocals are too quiet compared to the rest of the song. They sound somewhat low fidelity, and somewhat drowned out by the guitar. They need to be blaring loudly, crisp and clean, in the listeners face to be effective.
On the subject of vocals, I can't understand 90% of the song. You made some pretty bad ass lyrics, but their all pointless if I cant hear any of them. An incomprehensible song is one without impact.

On the instrumentals, I have to be honest, I was bored until about 2:56. That's a pretty sick solo (I wish it were longer), but the rest of the song is rather plain. This would be fine if the vocals made up for the lack of complexity, but they don't, as I've stated. The guitar is generally low impact throughout except for the solo, though i will say I liked what you did with the cymbals.

Lastly, The song in general was just HEAVY all the way through. It might be a slight change of style, but generally, if you integrate a more relaxed sequence into your song, either before or after a very intense sequence, the contrast of the two will make latter sequence that much more epic. Just food for thought there.

Anyway, I'll be following you. I hope to hear more :D

Pure-Metal-UTA responds:

This is useful!
For the vocals, I can see completely what you're saying. I think what I should do to fix this is re-record the growls. Most of these are kind of early recordings on my old setup, so perhaps using my new setup I can create more of an impact. This includes the guitars, unless I can't get them to stand out a bit more first.

As for the complexity, what I tried doing with this (as for the third part in this story) was putting a bit of melody into the rythm to help back the vocals in a more melodic way, i put in a bunch of different types of chords to try and get this effect. I didn't think it would dull out that fast but I'm thinking that the really long intro isn't helping since the only thing that changes during the intro is the kick. I'll probably shorten that.

And for a more laxed sequence, I'm brainstorming ideas... I wrote a piano arrangement of this song... For the first half of each chorus, I change the arrangement to the piano version, therefore more laxed, and when it hits the second half it integrates with the guitars and ends at the end of each chorus, if it's done right, it could make a pretty great buildup during the chorus. This requires some experimenting, but it's giving me ideas.
My experimenting has been going well and this idea has been working rather smoothly. I was working on the vocals and it just stopped responding, and i didn't fucking save.
Thanks so much for the review!

Credits & Info

Waiting for 4 more votes

Feb 12, 2012
8:24 PM EST
Heavy Metal
File Info
11.8 MB
5 min 41 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.