I hated the drums, very tinny sounding and lowered the overall tone of the piece. The high pitched voice-like synth was nice, and i liked the dissonance and spooky melodies. The bass was a bith thumping and a lot less subtle than the rest of the piece. The guitar at 0:34 was incredibly uninspired and could have just been left out entirley. I liked the riffs after that though, itneresting rhythms. It was an interesting listen but it lacked in many areas i think.
I removed the low pitches from the snare and hi-hat to try and avoid interference with the bass, but it probably wasn't necessary.
The reason for the middle guitar section was just to try and lead it in to the stronger final part, but you're right that it's uninspired, since it was all just made up on the spot. I might think of something better to put in the middle for a better version.