Not a bad melody at all. This is rather well written. I see you said that this was only a section of a larger work, which I'm glad about. I'm really looking forward to seeing the entire piece. As a stand-alone, this one does get somewhat repetitive, and it doesn't really create an atmosphere or give me anything. In spite of it being well written, to me that isn't enough when it is plaid so plainly. If you wanted this to be a proper standalone piano piece, you'd at least need to put in some more power, or energy if you'd like.