"I met this girl once" is an awful start to anything. Very cliched and puts the whole piece in a trite frame. I was glad when it didn't turn out too bad, it moved and had tone. The concept of the girl who looks happy but is really sad is over done, but the first person character was interesting and he had depth that held the piece together. I liked the line "just stronger, as if my hug meant anything", and there were other enjoyable moments. I think a nice twist at the end might have been her saying "i hope you will", but perhaps that was what you were implying? Was the boy failing to return her love really the protaganist? If not i think that'd have been a nice twist. Your voice is quite nice, and the reading seemed natural enough because of the errors/stutters, though you should probably try and iron those out. In all it was pretty enjoyable.
p.s Yes it is in the wrong section, you should put it in "Spoken Word".
Thanks for the critique. Like I said in the description, it's one of many that come up for me every week. Also the reason for the errors/stutters is that I kind of have a bad case of a virus that makes me cough a lot. So I was struggling with holding it in.