This is a song about everyone's favorite pastime, enjoy.

Lyrics:

Sometimes when I'm bored, I sit down in my chair,
I take a look out the door, to see if the coast is clear,
I call some friends to chill, just so I'm not alone,
It's more relaxing than a walk...
There go my pants, let's do this dance.
Everybody's got things they've got to do...

Please, just ten minutes...

When you're bored, masturbate yeah...
While you fight the hoard, masturbate yeah...
Eating pork, masturbate yeah...
Use the force, to masturbate with...

I like to keep a gourd, next to my bed,
Just to keep record, and compare with Fred,
I show up late to work, cause I over slept.
Then I lose my job, so I start again.

Everybody's got things they've got to do...
Please, just ten minutes...

When you're bored, masturbate yeah...
While you fight the hoard, masturbate yeah...
Eating pork, masturbate yeah...
Use the force, to masturbate with...

In a debate, just masturbate,
Writing an essay? Procrasturbate.
There ain't a time you'll need to abate,
All you got to do is masturbate...

Monday, Tuesday, national ooze day,
Today's substitute for Mr. Nolay.
I think it's time to give up your doubts,
Everybody come on and join about!