Right first off the melody is way to INTENSE and in you face turn down the bmp to around 150 (this is the standard bpm for hard trance)
As for the synths, good but a little generic i would say ... tell you what you should check out "Pandemics Digitals" releses. If you dont know about them there proberly one of the better lables that put out top tier hard trance. Listen to their stuff, take it in and try and lay it out.
(check out my new house track ... http://tinyurl.com/84w9ayo ...)
Oh pandemics stuff ... http://tinyurl.com/7624wod