All over the place
I think you have too many things going on that arent necessarily working well together. Like your tempo's and stuff are like wildly different yet they bleed together ... i think you probably have tooo many ideas and youre trying to get them all in one song, you should instead explore some of them individually in a piece and see what you can make of them rather than jump around?
Good idea, I tried to explore some of the stuff I had since it did promise to have some good potential. Thank you for that, maybe I should go back and try again.