I agree with Luke..

but... I think you should upload shit in order to get feedback, criticism and advice. Theres nothing wrong with refining your ish before uploading but you gotta start somewhere. The one of the best things about NGs, sometime people will give you some useful words, instead of just nonsense hate.

As for the lyrics; I say, its like flow, practice makes perfect. This is gonna sound cheesy but reading is one best things for improving your writing ability. I used to write rhymes before I was reading for my leisure , and I was doing real simple single syllable shit... but when I started reading more and more, my vocab and knowledge increased greatly. Also became more aware of other literary devices I could use in my writing. Lol, it still sounds corny, but I found that it worked for me.

As for flow; freestyle. Work on your natural flow, build that confidence in the force and just go with it. Record em, listen to em, then move on. I try to do at least one freestyle a week. Im still pretty bad at freestyling but it is what it is.

Keep it droppin Urbs

I am going to be the nice guy

Okay... This is what I don't like.

First of all, on this track specifically you are extremely quiet on the vocals. That can't happen - As a listener I want to hear the rapper as best I can, while still hearing the beat as best I can.

Now, you do trip on some words, or as I usually say, you kind of slur them, and it doesn't sound like it's intentional.

Flow needs a lot of work, and you really sound quite bored to be completely honest.

I'm not hating on you, whatsoever. But my personal advice would be to practice a LOT before uploading anything, I didn't follow that advice when I first started, and I uploaded my very first song online, I verbally got the shit beat out of me by people hating on it.

Do you sit or stand when you record? Serious question. I used to sit on my bed and stare at the computer when I recorded, just recently last April I got a studio set up where I NEED to stand to record, and it definitely helps with energy, as well as breathing too.

Just some tips I guess.
Keep doing your thing!

Ahh

You definitely need to work on it, cause you tripping up on some words. But, in this one, your flowing almost perfect, definitely one of your better tracks as far as flow. The lyrics? That's another thing. Try coming up with some more complex-type shit when writing your lyrics.

There is a lot more to rapping than what you hear on the radio...

Come on now..

No wonder nobody takes Americans seriously.