I see what you're trying to do
But the high scream vocals are just extremely terrible, the only somewhat redeeming quality of them is when you do your low-end screams, those are decent (although seemed better until 1:37). Anyway. I guess it was good for your personal expression. The 6/10 was mainly becuase 2:35 to 4:49 was very enjoyable (4:49 is a slightly better breakdown), or it would have been like 2/10. I'll have to check and see if any of your other music is instrumental. I definitely think you have a lot of potential to compose cool songs!
i havent screamed in like 3 months but im not gonna use that as a crutch thx XD and ive spent to much time practicing lows and thx for comment on instrumental part i put way more thought into instruments than vocals and its obvious lol and i do have alot of instrumentals but they havent reached the level of composition that this has except for 1 or 2 all my new things i posted on soundcloud but there may be 1 or 2 good ones on here XD