I like the voice, it does fit in as you said in your comments for a more 'Military' voice.
I'm giving you and 8/10 'cause I feel it'd be better to hear more of a transition of emotion, perhaps getting louder/more aggressive toward the end?
All in all I like it. - I'm always looking for new voices to put in my radio show for between songs/introducing the show etc, etc.. If you'd like to give it a go just give me a yell, I could come up with all kinds of scripts for short voice clips.