Nice lyrics but the vocals are weak and off key at times. The whispering instead of singing fits for parts but not the whole song. Need more diaphragm and less throat in your voice. You can still sing quiet without whispering it just requires more presence and a stronger diaphragm to sing from. Vocal exercises can fix that no prob. Otherwise its a good tune
Drums...Leave them out
I love the melody. The individual guitar is very enjoyable. Your? voice is okay; I like it for this song. The DRUMS. They cloud the "prettiness" of the guitar with their mediocrity. Vocals are most important my friend. I want to hear your interesting lyrics that is what I enjoy the most. I personally enjoy acoustic music but this works for me. Last thing take it or leave it. Change the lyrics and make the first stanza 4 lines singing the second two lines as you sang the first two. Repeat for the second stanza. Keep the third stanza the same. Don't sing "cut down with a double edge blade" higher it just doesn't sound good. Last stanza, I would sing it twice after the 1st guitar breakdown, before 2;34. So yup, take it or leave it
Ten Thumbs Up!!!
I love it, I hope to hear more of this kind of indie rock from you!
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.