This doesn't sound bad. not at all. I only have 2 suggestions for this. Turn up the master track a bit. The other is adding just a tad bit more bass to this song.
Nooooww for what's good. The singing is good, and what rhythm you have is decent. The lyrics seems good, but I really don't understand whats being said. Maybe tune those up a bit.
Keep it up.
Thank you. I always have trouble with volumes and equalization and stuff. Hence having three 'attempts' at this song.