First part was nice,
But your vocals don't really go with the beat sometimes, try to move them a little till they sound perfectly with the beat.
second part was boring... And didn't had to do something with the rest. It didn't fit in for my feeling. If you are producing and don't feel the prgression, the listener wont too.
Then first part came in, same critism as first part.
hope you can do something with it. I hope you can handle honest critism.:)
i can and this was more of an experimental piece. i dont wanna sound like every other artist out there