I agree with the other guy on the bass tones. it could just be my laptop speakers but a sub bass could really pump the tune a bit more.
Otherwise this is great stuff :)
I like this.
It could do with some work, but you definitely have something worth improving on here. I think the stuttering vocal in the middle is a little all consuming, and it could do with some bass tones, but none the less quite good.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.