Some of the lyrics seemed a little lazy, not that much rhyme in there. But it's abstract and has a nice feel, i loved "blood red like the base of a guillotine". Another thing i always like is how original your beats are. You never have some generic hip-hop tune in the background and you always create an ambience with some interesting sounds and rhythms. Nice stuff
I have been reading a lot of my stuff at poetry nights and what I'm starting to do is hop between forms. The first half isn't really meant to be over a beat at all, and I only start writing to a beat on the line "I am the grim reaper". I think I'm fooling with the line between free form spoken word poetry and hip hop, and I definitely haven't gotten it yet.
On re-reading this though most of it is pretty lazy writing anyways, haha, just rambles without an edit. The only lines I find interesting now are the ones that contain what you picked out:
"Slow mow, withering, slick in that I'm melting. Stone only in my stoic eyes, frozen at coffee late at night, blood red like the base of a guillotine. Oh to be free"
Thanks for the feedback, it's much appreciated!
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.