"...Sure, when they are the size of your hand, mushrooms don't seem that scary. I mean come on, we eat them all the time, right? As a little kid, I used to live off of the little buggers! But you know THEY feed off of dead organic stuff, right? So what happens when the mushrooms are a hundred times bigger than you; they gotta eat too! ...not to mention he weird colored mushrooms around these parts are poisonous. You don't think its odd that animals avoid the big purple ones in Mycel Forest? That's because those are the dangerous ones! They shoot out these paralyzing spores, and they wait for you to die, then they grow their offspring on you! It's scary! Think about THAT the next time you eat some mushroom and leek soup! Here's a tip, if you're gonna go mushroom hunting, stay near the plain colored mushrooms. Get curious about any of the purple or yellow or striped or funny colored ones, and you'll be feeding tiny mushroom babies with your dead body! You hearin' me? As the saying goes, 'plain is sane, bright is blight!' But just between you and me, the striped ones dont really kill you, they just make you think you're a dinosaur for a while. You want to have a good laugh at someone's expense, mix in a little bit of it with someone's food! I used to pull that prank all the time on my friends...hey where you goin? what do you MEAN I'm ranting!? That's so RUDE, I'm not ranting at all, I'm just trying to help you out...don't you take that tone of voice with me! What are you talking about?! Wait! I haven't told you about the funny little pink mushrooms, those are the best! Come back!!"
~Aspen Brightfur, Animist sign of Air, resident of Mycel Village and tour guide of Mycel Forest