The choirs should be lengthened, and you should overlap them less, and the notes they sing should be more spaced out.
if you have too many notes clustered together at the same frequency, its going to sound messy and unpleasent.
You have a tense air with the strings, my suggestion, work on the choirs a bit, space them out, both note length, and which note you use wise.
I would also add perhaps another instrument like a violin or piano playing a tense melody.
3/5 this time Misery, good effort, keep them coming.
Thanks for the constructive critism. I found your advice to be sensible but my music is my artistic view and I like the way my songs are and I would never change them. I would work on them a bit though if I thought neccasary. This is just me experimenting trying to create a new sound. Well, thanks for hearing my work.