Meh
Not your best work, but not bad. It needs more solid strings in the backround. Or if you want to go with that choppy feeling. You need to switch to a string patch that has a "Marcato" setting. Google that if you don't know what it is. I can send you an MP3 as an example. That with some nice full strings in the backround, this tune would be a lot better. Otherwise, nice idea, but thats all it is to me, an idea.