Good Sir!

even MoneyBoy makes better music....
But at least, you tried -
my suggestions are
-more base
-some of the blurred sounds have to be a bit more pinched up
-a bit faster in every way, otherwise it gives me a more trance-like feeling.
and i dont like trance!

Try some of the advises you got by me and the other PortalUsers, so you may be able to do good song.
-Regards
Hisares