8/10
+Message
(+the story)
+Lyrics
+Chorus
+Flow
(+changing the tone a lot)
+Quality
(-mastering)
(-volume)
What I mean by Quality is, its pretty good, but you can master out the pops and everything in something as simple as Audacity. Also, you can master it so it sounds like the vocals are an actual part of the song... understand? I don't know how to explain it.
Anyways, I enjoyed this, keep at it!