Distant Serenity (with vox)

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Music and Instruments by: Kyle Szpyt
Lyrics and Vocals by: Yesenia Moya

Finding out who we are
I'm looking at the reflection now
Trying to find my way into your heart
I can't stand this
I refuse to back away
I will find my way inside

Distant serenity
is what I'm looking at
Across the waters of my soul

I can't seem to find your face
Your lost to me and in my disgrace
I try to run away and hide
I wish that you were here with me
Your smile lingers in my dreams
I feel your touch inside my heart

Distant serenity
Is what I'm looking at
I want to feel the peace within
Trying to reach out and touch you
I'm trying to reach out and be with you

I won't give up
I will stand up
I will fight for you
I will take on anyone
I will fight till I'm the one
Distant serenity is ours



It's good. Not perfect, that's for sure, you probably don't need me to tell you that.

I am making a promise with myself that I would never criticize somebodies voice unfairly as they can and will only get better with time, however, I will say, there wasn't enough variation in melody. The last verse could have been done a lot better, vocally. When the "Distant Serenity" line was sung, I felt a LOT of holding back. There's nothing to lose, rock the mic like it's a casbah.

Bass was not heard enough, and could have been improved dramatically. I'm gonna disagree with the other reviewer, the instruments could have done much more. The guitar was slow and unmoving, not powerful as it could have been.

Lyrically, I'm not a fan of the kind of writing, for personal reasons, but I'll ignore that. The lyrics are well written and recorded, and I will not take marks from that.

However, there is so much room for improvement over a month, I'm gonna have to ask you to redo this in a few months, because I really want to hear it. This could be awesome on this site. Keep up your good work!

PS: If you're looking for a nice mic, Behringer are really great quality and value.

MusicsOffspring responds:

thanks for the review! yeah theres actually a lot more i want to do with it and i just havent yet...and i agree about the not enough variation in the vocal melody...we recorded it yesterday and i was sick as a dog and wanted to go to bed lol...ive got a friend of mine writing a new bass part to it as we speak and seein as he is a bassist can prolly make it more noticable from the guitars...also ill be sure to mix it slightly louder next time around...again thanks a ton for the cconstructive criticism....i really enjoy hearing what others have to say


Not bad, lyrics are well written.

However the actual singing seems off, I suggest a re-record of the voice, maybe with some better equipment, or some editing.

Pretty good though, the instruments are perfect.

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MusicsOffspring responds:

thanks a ton for the review man...yeah a lot of it will depend on getting an actual studio mic in order to really get into it...just using the onboard mic on my recording device

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Credits & Info

4.21 / 5.00

Jan 16, 2011
7:02 PM EST
General Rock
File Info
4 MB
4 min 24 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.