me again XD
Well, in terms of instruments, I'd say this is in improvement.
In terms of progression, it goes to the main melody much faster then before, but since this song is longer then the last, it needs the intro to be a bit longer.
now for the main problem with this version: it's very repetitive, even compared to the last version. To relieve the repetitiveness, you could've: 1-made your intro a bit longer (I don't mean add more, replace), 2- Bring that high-energy synth a bit earlier in the song (I really like it) ^^
I also like how you've improve your drum beat, nice going on this one.
Your outro was kinda weird too, what with that reverse cymbal(?)
And concerning your first sentence of your comment: don't worry man, nobody makes super good music at first (I know what I'm talking about here), you just gotta keep trying =)
keep it up,
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.