Right now the big issue I have with this song is the lack of dynamics and the machine gun effect when you have instruments playing the same notes over and over. You need to vary the velocities of the instruments attacks to give it more life. Right now this sounds like it was programmed through a computer. And the goal is to not have that be so.
So varying the velocities of your instruments would be a great start. Also automating volume levels to give this some more dynamic integrity would help as well.
This piece is clipping all over the place, which is causing some really nasty distortions. One instrument I noticed in particular was the piano. You really need to fix the clipping issues. It just ruins the piece entirely.
What is written is not bad at all. But you have a long ways to go in terms of making this sound more realistic and polished.
3/5 and 5/10 overall. It's hard for me to give a higher score when there is so much clipping going on.
Listening to this years later with good headphones, HOLY SHIT. I love the composition and wish I still had the original files, but this is some of the worst EQ I have heard in my entire life. This had so much potential. Jesus.
It's so unfortunate I couldn't recover this piece.