You're other song was better..
I guess, it kind of sounds like video game music(not that i'd know much about video game music). Doesn't sound much like a hardstyle song though because you picked C major again then stuck on mainly major notes. I don't know if that was the feel you were going for but if it was I can't criticise for it. I really don't know much about DnB but I know the beat you used was a pretty common beat in the genre so that was alright.
The little breakdown thing you got going at ~3:00 was alittle empty compared to the rest of your song, maybe you could of added a sustained reverb on one of your previous sounds to carry on to fill in the empty space. Maybe even a quite pad to go in there instead to compliment it.
The main melody isn't too bad, but after awhile it does get alittle bit annoying, I think it would be good with a counter-melody.
2 kicks, 1 snare and 1 hi-hat sample? could have made that alittle more interesting, although some songs do use very minimal samples sometimes so you don't lose points for that.
Only 2 bass lines. Which also isn't a bad thing, BUT your bass lines were BORING and generic, plain and simple. I didn't hear a single variation in your basslines so that was pretty disappointing. One thing I do know about DnB is that they commonly have elaborate bass lines.
No variation in dynamics. Start was loud, middle was loud and the end was loud. Everything seemed to be loud. all the time. And if it wasn't loud it was either silent or extremely quite. Because of this you're song didnt build or get very exciting towards the end, it just got more boring.
3:56, that was sounding like one awesome pitch increase but then you put it at the wrong pitch! You should have put it up in intervals of 6 tones higher or another note that would compliment it(example: a note that makes up a chord with it).
All in all it sounds a bit rushed and not much thought put into it. I liked you're other song better than this because it sounded more thought out and more interesting. Straight away when I listened to this I got the vibe that it was just a bunch of nexus sample with some knobs being tweaked and automated.