Ehh

Im not hating or anything.. but your main melody needs a ton of work.. it has sooo many pauses that you dont need in there.. I love your bass.. If u change anything DO NOT CHANGE THE BASS That is the main reason of the 5 .. also the beginning was kinda slow.. and the whole song is very repetitive.. try changing it up more.. Also.. maybe try to get new words.. i thought it was cool at first but after hearing the same words like 5 times throughout the song.. :\ sorry mate..try working on it
~Jason