You could do better....
Well... its all jumbled and broken into peices... all the samples you're using are flawless.... but they lack mastering and proper placement on your part.
before you remix things that already exist, try making your own stuff from scratch... try instrumental first before you add lyrics, tends to confuse people.
Also, this isnt really industrial.. sure the original song might be.... but this sounds more ambient.....ish.... no clue.
All i'm saying... is try not to just throw some samples together and call it a song.... some might just think of it as noise and you get people that zero bomb you.
Like i said, try your own stuff first... get a feel for what you're good at.
I added most all the music first.
While I do agree that it needs work I don't believe it's jumbled at all. Everything is on beat, except for a few voice samples, which I did on purpose.
All of the samples have already been mastering...the only criticism I can give for that section is that the vocals are too loud at some parts.
While I agree it's far from perfect and that it has obvious flaws (I'd say it's more boring than anything) your review lacks more content and substance than my mix.
Thanks for the review though.
Oh, and I do agree it's mostly ambient...which is why I don't understand the "jumbled" part...since it's a lot of atmospheric sounds with beats....all on beat.