I hate to sound imposing, but it really reminds me of some really old stuff of mine back when I first started (deleted by now).
Mainly I feel that the bass-swell doesn't really fit, and that drum beat (the one I used oh so often) needs a counterpart for variety.
Besides that and some issues with consistency and perhaps fluidity I'd say you should keep going and see where you end up. Definately keep the originality though, that's important.
Thank you, I'll work on that. I'm still new to this whole thing.