I think what you have here is pretty awesome so far.
First suggestion, I think you should add a white noise sweep or reverbed hit of some kind at the beginning to keep it from sounding too empty, because it doesn't really take off until :15, which isn't too long for me personally, but many people have the musical attention spans of mice.
Now, there is also a bit of distortion, especially when the hihats come in, sounds like you have the master volume too loud, I would suggest turning that down a bit so that you don't have that clipping, maybe turn down the volume of the hihats too.
If you want suggestions for the melody and progression, I can't give you any, because it's already BADASS.
You said it's incomplete, but it sounds pretty finished to me, just end it with a nice, echoing crash cymbal, or maybe a variation of the main melody fading out slowly.
Hope that helps, cause you've got some awesomeness brewing!
Thanks for the review and i appreciate it very much!!
Im working on it as we speak!
Expect the final version soon....im supposed to be out looking for a job..but this is mor important!