fill-ins and mixing
im gonna focus on talking about the drums, two things.
1. you should use fill-ins to tansision from one drum beat to another, for example, you could have done descending notes on the toms from 0:28 to 0:31 to make it smoother (people should be able to predict what your gonna do, if it surprises them with an abrupt change its generally not good)
2. the drums (especially the snare drum) did not seem to fit the genre (sounded like a rock-style preset), they could use more distorsion/reverb (everything should sound like it was recorded live if its not a clearly digital set)
3. also the drums covered up the melody at some parts, remember that just by nature short notes (in this case drums/percussion) stick out on top of long notes (in this case the melody)
take this into consideration and it could greatly improve the song imho
krazyfro2 
