not bad needs improvements

no offense man but the first thing i noticed is that u can completely tell this was made with fruity loops lol actually its called fruity studio or somethin but whatever.
not bad for ur first song but it could use some improvements it doesn't sound like a song nothing is holding all these beats u created together. they don't fit. it's like u put the peices in but they don't fit together and fall apart because u didn't use any glue... if that makes any sense but in any case keep on trying