okay.

sounds a little deflated. I feels like it should have more punch than it actually does. On the flipside, I really didn't expect to see this in your library of songs. I appreciate people who at least make an attempt at variety, I think that's venerable.

Dramatic

Pretty dramatic.
The chords are big and tensioned.

To my taste, you could put some orchestral reverb on it and use even more low brass to sustain the chords.
10/10 5/5
4.31 / 5.00 (+ 0.23)

Cheers

Eh...

Well first of all, the instruments are all very whiny sounding.

Now, the chords that you strike, they aren't very full. They sound fairly weak to me, and not very dramatic.

Now, I do like the organ, that's a nice touch!

However, the rhythm sounds, well, sqaure. If you used more interesting rhythms, which unfortunately are hard to tell you via type, like maybe have the pick ups play the chord before the chord (I don't think that made any sense...). :\

Now I can say that you are headed in the right direction. Maybe you could add some woodwind instruments, that would help. Oh, and have brass sustain the chord, that would be nice too. I really think you could make those chords fuller, I really do.

You can do it!!!!

<PS>

sounds like...

a scene from conkers bad fur day!!!!
I'm serious...

:P