lack of necessary bass
This song is on a great start, but the bass doesn't do the song enough justice for a really good score. I think the bass should be on this song (# = lenth of bass note, - = lenth of no notes (per measure)
also, some melody should extend for atleast 16 measure so you get the fullness of the melody, where in some parts, its only 8, and it just comes off too quickly for it to be at the necessary level. And also, the ending wasn't too good, since there isnt very much variety with the melody at the end. Come up with a different melody, or pattern, and it'll become significantly better.
Otherwise, the things that you are doing in this song are really great, I like it alot, it just some of the things need alittle bit of focus, and you could really have potential to become one of the best haha.
Anyway, check out my newest song, Sand caves on my profile.